I suppose this is as good a place as any for a public confession. My disclosure is that for too many years I misunderstood the goal of yoga practice and paraded my accomplishments in sadhana as having some value. I could sit in the lotus pose until my knees went numb, I could go without sleep in order to chant kirtan, I could fast, grow my beard, shave my head, put strings up my nose and cloths down my throat. What a mighty yogi I tried to be. What a misguided fool I actually was.
Once I had the good fortune to meet Swami Brahmananda Saraswati (then still Dr. Ramamurti Mishra). In front of a group of several dozen people I asked a question which I thought to be earnest, but that the teacher recognized as revealing my arrogance. He called me up to the front of the room and asked me if I could sit in the half-lotus posture. I did so, and he praised me.
Then he asked if I could sit in the full lotus. I took this posture, trying to appear humble in front of the group, but actually feeling quite proud of my asana ability. Dr. Mishra then instructed me to grasp my hair, which I did. He then asked me to pull myself up off the ground. Obviously I was unable to do so, and his point regarding pride of accomplishment was well made!
There is a tendency amongst almost all aspirants to sometimes feel they are somehow special because of their spiritual accomplishments. What we fail to realize is that pride and arrogance are fires which quickly burn down the barn where the harvests of our efforts are stored. True spiritual practice results in humility and the ability to love and serve. The only “perk” resulting from sadhana is the opportunity to love and serve more. Other rewards — fame, fortune, appreciation — remain within the boundaries of egoic desires.
Few of us have the ears to hear the profundity in the simple, timeless teachings that spiritual guides present in every age: quiet the mind, open the heart, serve others. We are convinced that we must travel to some remote ashram, where a bearded sage will whisper in our ears the closely guarded, nearly forgotten teachings that will forever remain secret to the uninitiated. Many of us spend years applying ourselves to dramatic practices and painful austerities. Eventually we realize, as said Jesus, that the Kingdom of God is revealed to the simple and pure of heart: to those who can love as he loved.
Sadhana is the practice of spiritual exercises for the purpose of undoing spiritual ignorance, and learning how to express the Soul through the mind and body. Sadhana begins with an “s,” which stands for “sometimes.” That is, when one begins spiritual practice he starts with formal periods of sadhana set aside from ordinary activities. Time each day is spent in meditation, prayer, and the focusing of concentration on one’s spiritual intention.
With maturity, however, an aspirant comes to realize that sadhana ends with an “a,” as in “always.” Spiritual practice becomes a constant state throughout the day. Formal periods of practice may still be engaged in, but they have no sharp demarcation from other activities of daily life. Everything becomes an opportunity for expression of the Soul.
Many of us become confused in our sadhanas, making our spiritual practices into idols which end up replacing the very goal toward which the practices are intended to lead. We become obsessed with the raft and fail to let it go as we venture toward the farther shore.
Imagine a man who wishes to plant a garden. He works mightily at digging the necessary irrigation system, tilling the soil, and planting the vegetables. He waters and fertilizes the vegetables, and they eventually develop into the fruits of his labors. Unfortunately, he becomes so enamored with the gardening itself that he fails to harvest the vegetables. Instead, he starts work on another plot of land and goes through the same process. And then, yet again, the vegetables go to waste. He becomes a gardener, but not a person who enjoys the garden’s produce.
I hope you will be able to learn from some of my errors and avoid thinking yourself accomplished because you can exhibit something external. The real measuring stick of one’s current spiritual state is simply this: can you extend love in this moment? It doesn’t matter how loving you were yesterday, or even an hour ago. It doesn’t matter how long you sat in meditation or how deep was your samadhi. The issue is: Are you loving now? For the only time love can be made real is now. Hence, love is the doorway in the temporal for the experience of the eternal. Love is the essence and purpose of sadhana. Without love, sadhana is an unharvested garden.
